Tesco Express

I’ve never had a shopping experience quite like it, I left my body and watched the whole thing from above. It was other worldly and I believe I met God in there. All I wanted was some Rice Krispies but I left with far more than this. Will definitely shop here again.

Oh, Tesco of London's fame,
Your woes have earned a funny name.
Rude staff and chaos in the aisles,
Leaving customers with puzzled smiles.

Pallets block the shopper's way,
As staff seem to have a grand display.
Smoking weed and sipping drinks,
Behaviors that truly make one think.

Security shadows like a thief,
While fridges open, causing grief.
Dairy products, a risky bet,
In a store that's hard to forget.

Cashier's antics, oh so rude,
Turning shopping into quite the feud.
But fear not, for a change is due,
Let's hope a better Tesco will ensue.

To the worst in London, you've gained renown,
With reviews that make us frown.
Yet let's hope for a brighter day,
When Tesco's wrongs will fade away.

Credits:
Creative direction: Lawrence Snelgrove
Literary contributions: Google reviews
Ghost writer: Chat GPT

Upon entering the Haggerston Tesco, you immediately recognise the faint but unmistakable smell of hope

Good, local place to get some shopping. I would love everything to be on clubcard though.

Ma bike wasn't stolen (because I don't have one), there was no pee (or even the smell of pee) inside and the store had everything I needed. So I can recommend this one.

Best Tesco been going here since I was young only problem is when there’s new security that take there job to seriously

The staff are always very courteous and helpful in thus store

The location is ok and the Tesco is not that bad !

It's a Tesco. I can get food and drinks here. They took my money. 5 star

mandem on here tryna violate, 5 stars! this is the real MVP for them late night cravings rudeboiiii

Always quick and easy to access, there is never a big queue, and when there is, it dies down in a matter of minutes

It has everything that I want and the prices aren't that bad either

Less variety items

In terms of service was always very welcomed, surrounded by a courteous stuff, always kind and supportive. Products are ok indeed, more of a quick top up.

The security guy was really nice but they have not Nutrageous chocolate bar in the store so i can’t put 5 stars

Just fine. Reasonable prices available and discounted baguettes and budget bagels found.