Yan Yan Massage

Oh boy, where do I even begin with the so-called "massage" I had the misfortune of experiencing? If you're in the market for a good ol' torture session masquerading as a relaxing massage, then this place is a dream come true. Just be prepared to walk out feeling more tense and sore than ever before!

From the moment I laid down on that ominous-looking table, I knew I was in for a rough ride. The masseuse seemed to have taken inspiration from medieval torture devices, rather than the soothing techniques of a trained professional. Their hands felt like hot pokers digging into my muscles, leaving me wondering if I had unwittingly signed up for a punishment instead of a massage.

I foolishly requested a gentle Swedish massage, but what I received can only be described as a blend of aggressive kneading and bone-crushing pressure. Forget relaxation and tension relief; my body felt like it was being put through a grinder. At times, I was convinced I would emerge from the session as a contortionist, thanks to the bizarre contortions the masseuse attempted to force upon me.

As if the physical pain wasn't enough, the atmosphere was equally dreadful. Instead of soothing music and calming scents, I was serenaded by a cacophony of clattering dishes from the neighboring café and the occasional siren wailing outside. Ah, yes, nothing says tranquility like the ambiance of a construction site.

To add insult to injury, the masseuse didn't seem to have the faintest clue about basic anatomy. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure my neck isn't supposed to twist at such unnatural angles. At one point, I half-expected them to start practicing their chiropractic skills on me. Sadly, no such luck.

All in all, if you have a sadistic streak or a burning desire to experience intense discomfort, then this massage joint might just be your idea of paradise. As for the rest of us seeking relaxation and relief, do yourself a favor and run in the opposite direction. Save your hard-earned money for an actual massage that won't leave you contemplating a trip to the emergency room.

I had never had a massage it was a great first time experience you should definitely try it

The market is excellent, has ethical staff as well as quality ingredients especially kitchen utensils and fresh meat

I BEEN GOING TO THIS PLACE FOR 6 YEARS.ITS VERY CLEAN AND PROFECIANAL PLACE. ASK FOR YUKI SHE IS THE BEST

Yuki is best massage therapist very kind and attentive. Excellent masssge

The massage was acceptable. It was a nice generic massage, and Yuki was pleasant.

Have been many times and loved it Yumi was kind and very helpful best massage around Rancho

I received a deep tissue massage first, and it can be quite deep. Do not suggest if you are in severe pain. However, the nice staff there were able to accommodate me with buy one get half off of a 30 minute more gentle massage. After this I was very happy. Do not suggest this place if you are on a budget. Definitely plan ahead and make sure to leave a decent tip. 👌

You might want to try another place. These ladies are legit but they aren't the best

90 minute massage is not really 90 minutes. Massues a bit rude.