Totems Bar

Sad to hear it’s temporarily closed for maintenance over the Easter Weekend.

My father in law and I come here every weekend to discuss the latest on Days of our Life.

In fact, it was here he told me that “Chaos is a ladder”. Think about that.

Sometimes we get distracted and talk about the latest chris Lilley special “Jonah From Tonga.” Have you seen that bit where he goes “Puck you miss!” Hah, I really miss my real dad, he’s in Rome now.

Anyway, hope the hot tub comes soon.

I wish I could give a 6. Was a minimal cost to hire out and the team really looked after us

The staff at totems bar provided an exceptional night out on the town, their hospitality was first class and they had the beats pumping.

The Caribbean aesthetic made me feel like I was on a Hawaiian holiday, the addition of a tree strung hammock would cement the establishment as a fixture of the Newtown scene.

Cannot wait to return 10/10 would recommend totems bar as a hangout for the real OG’s really begins to pick up around 4am.

Visited this place with the wife last Saturday and I have to say overall it was a pleasurable experience. Limited drink selection and no food on the menu (actually now that I think about it there was no menu) however this was made up for by the amazing staff on hand.

Special mention to Sam and Ben who provided us with some goon punch on the house and offered a bed for the night for my wife, who stated she was tired, despite repeated mention that we live nearby and this was not a licenced hotel. Talk about above and beyond service!

There was also a dark featured, bloated headed gentleman of unknown origin lurking around. Staff said he was "cool" but to be frank he made my wife uncomfortable with leering stares, drunken behaviour and questionable dance moves throughout the evening.

5/5 stars! Will go again. Lose the douchebag!

Best vibes ever. My friend Candice won the crowd surfing contest and our prize was a free charter flight, two day computer coding camp and four stand up paddle boards! So random!!! What would anyone do with four stand up paddle boards?!
Only negative comment would be that there’s not much seating. The bar could really use a seating booth.

That rare find that effortlessly blends postwar modernism and gothic revival. Chilled cocktails, a tasteful soundtrack and the handsy bartender are all reasons I’ll be returning soon. Can’t wait to see the hot tub expansion!

Really incapable staff but they try pretty hard. The ethnic looking one cracks good wise but the frosted tips bloke just stares at you blankly when you ask him a question. A uniquely satisfying experience all around, would recommend.

Popped over to totems in my recess (courthouse over the road) shoutout @loveluggage for the wallet. Hired it out for my 31st with me and my mixed business mates, Awesome kebabs wholesome tiki vibes, did I mention it was mixed business? 10/10 would recommend.

Woef chat, but excellent bar tending. Especially good after you’ve been on your daddy’s catamaran x

Good BYO policy, staff keep repeating the same stories and playing lean on every time I’m there

Pretty pathetic attempt at a Mexican Dutch rudder cocktail if I’m honest, but the vibes are very park bench so I’m happy to bring my family again

Bartender tugs at the beer taps as vigorously as a milkmaid on cows udders during a stick up by the Milkybar Kid.

Great place for somewhere I have never been.

The people who run this are really cool...and the Tiki bar is brilliant!

Sickest bar

The blokes were hot and the banter even hotter!

Toilet line was long but otherwise ok

Good looking bar staff!

Saucy as a pizza